Some Useful Information for the Perspective Surrogate Mother to Consider
If you are thinking about becoming a surrogate mother, you should first of all think all the reasons of such a wish of yours over. Every woman has her own reason why she chooses to become a surrogate mother, and according to the statistics, there are no two women, who chose surrogacy because of the same reason. Most of the women, who become surrogate mothers, do it in order to let other people know all the joys of being a parent, for this kind of women the attraction is simply to be able to help a single person, or a couple, who have lost their hope to have a baby in a natural way; but there are women, those, who have already delivered one or more children, and they are ready to become a surrogate mother, because they want to experience pregnancy and childbirth again, but they do not want to have children of their own any more, or they do not want to have children at all,, but they may wish to have someone, related to them. Some women become surrogate mothers, because they want to be important and appreciated. And there are women, who simply need money, as for them being a paid surrogate mother usually means an ability to stay at home and take care after her own child or children by herself, instead of depending on a daycare center for her children, and going for a walk. But in those cases, when money is the prime for a woman, who agreed to become a surrogate mother, at the end of her pregnancy a woman usually becomes to suffer from strong feelings of remorse and guilt after the birth and giving up her own baby, and the emotional recovery period usually takes up much time, and it is quite difficult. Most women, who become surrogacy mothers consider that the money they receive for it is a kind of a reimbursement for all the expenses and work, she is to fulfill during the pregnancy period. Of course pregnancy does include many expenses and a lot of risking, (a surrogate mother may lose her job, or her body may get changed to the worse, she may also have complications during or after the pregnancy process, some of which may be a threaten to her health condition, or even to her life, etc.) for which a surrogacy fee is paid. Besides, all surrogate mothers should also involve their families, because of her temporary disability to fulfill some housework.
Considering form the point of view of emotions, a surrogate mother, as well as all the rest members of her family may undergo harsh criticism from those, who consider surrogacy to be amoral, she may also lose some of her friends, and her relationships with some of the relative may become worse.
So, as you have already understood, it is not easy to decide whether becoming a surrogate mother is right for you or not. The questions below will help you to make this decision, answer all of them, and then you will be able to find out if becoming a surrogate mother because of any of the reasons, is exactly what you want to experience. So, you should not get worried, think each question over, do not get hurry and there is no need to answer all the questions right away, as you have plenty of time to find the answer, which would fit you the most, and, go ahead!
1. What is the reason of your wishing to become a surrogate mother?
2. What do you hope to have from being a surrogate?
3. In what way may a surrogacy be harmful to you?
4. What will you be able to handle and what you will not be able to handle in the surrogacy arrangement?
5. Do you have time and physical, emotional, etc. ability for this kind of journey?
6. Are you ready to fulfill all the appointment’s requirements?
7. How becoming a surrogate mother may affect your job?
8. How will you explain everything to your child or children, to your husband, to your other relatives, to your friends, neighbours, co – workers, etc?
9. What if you may lose some of your friends, or your relationship with any of your relatives, or family members become worse because of their opposing surrogacy?
10. Who will fulfill your home responsibilities, take care after your children, if you have any, if were put on bed rest?
11. How being a surrogate mother may affect your relationship with your partner or husband?
12. If you decide to become a surrogate mother, do you have a person, you may rely upon?
13. Are you quite sure, that you will be able to give your baby to other parents, after you deliver him or her?
14. How much stress can you handle in general?
15. For whom or for which kind of people would you like to become a surrogate mother?
16. What qualities, would you like the intended parents of your future baby to possess?
17. Do you want to visit your child in the future?
18. Would you like your child to know who his real mother is?
19. What kind of relationship would you like to have with your baby’s future parent(s) during the pregnancy period and after it?
20. How much money do you think would be enough for you for handling a baby for some other people?
21. What kind of clauses you need in the contract, you are going to sign to assure your rights and safety?
22. Would you like to make an independent arrangement, or do you prefer to act through the surrogacy agency or a law group?
23. Would you need any psychological counseling during and after your pregnancy?
24. Where would you deliver a baby?
25. Where and from whom would you receive all medical help and care?
26. What do you think about abortion? Would you be able to undergo it, if the intended parents wished you to?
27. Would you have your baby for yourself, if the intended parents relinquished him or her right after the deliver?
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